No go

The esophageal/gastric/duodenal endoscope I was supposed to have yesterday didn't happen because my blood was still too thin. Grrrrr! The surgeon's nurse called me today to say they're either going to get me into another surgeon or she has "another idea" to get me in next week.

Would someone please tell me why I allot two months for things when all my doctors wait to do everything in my last 2-3 weeks here? ::sigh::

Something to think about

As seen on lupabitch's LJ (thank you for letting me snag):

Indeed, there would be no hatred of others without hatred of self. If we truly felt good about ourselves, we would have no interest in wasting precious life energy resenting or attacking anyone. The urge to blame others arises only out of feeling bad about ourselves, which originally developed out of not feeling truly seen or honored by other people. Self-hatred is the hidden underbelly of all violence and nastiness in the world.

--John Welwood, Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships: Healing the Wound of the Heart, p. 97

ZOMBIE WANT BRAINS!!!

As received in an email from Elizabeth C.:

ZombieHarmony -- because the apocalypse doesn't have to be lonely.



And to go with it, a couple of memes from Kender:

Your result for The Zombie Apocalypse Personality Test...

The Accomplice

84% Aggression and 48% Leadership!

You are the Accomplice. While preferring to let others lead, your aggressive outlook means that any Zombie crossing your path is going to have a very bad day. While people with more passive roles will only have mixed luck looking to you for guidance, you make a perfect complement to Slayers, Assassins, and Strategists.

Take The Zombie Apocalypse Personality Test at HelloQuizzy

Your result for Zombie Evolution/Human De-evolution...

Professor

14% Knowledge and 12% Skill!

You know just what to do when the first person turns. You even warned everyone this was coming. With your vast knowledge of the undead your sure to be the leader of your group. Don't shrink under the pressure just be sure you have your plan ready.

Take Zombie Evolution/Human De-evolution at HelloQuizzy

Fun

Your result for The Color Code Test...

Color Code: BLUE: The Social Butterfly

31% Red, 40% Blue, 26% White and 3% Yellow!

Here is the basics: For a more in depth analysis, I suggest you look up the Color Code, and take a more intensive test.

BLUE MOTIVE: Intimacy

BLUE NEEDS: To be good (morally), To be understood, To be appreciated, Acceptance.

BLUE WANTS: To reveal insecurities, Quality, Autonomy, Secuirity.

SUMMARY: Blues are motivated by altruism. They love to do nice things for others. they look for opportunites to give up something in order to bring another person happiness. selflessness rather than selfishness is their guiding philosophy. Blues seek intimacy. They want to be loved and to love. A true blue will sacrifice a successful career to improve an important relationship. Blues crave being understood. They are gratified when they are listened to, when they feel understood and appreciated. Blues may have thier hearts broken more than most people, but they also spend much more time in love. Blues are directed by a strong moral conscience. They have a moral code that guides them in their decision making, their value judgements, and their leisure time. A blue would rather lose than cheat. Ethically, blues are people who should be in positions of power, but seldom are.

Take The Color Code Test at HelloQuizzy

Howdy from the Hole

Nothing exciting to report. Needing to up my self-discipline a bit to get these fish measured. Finished the Stephen King novel Duma Key. Watched "Doctor Who" tonight and am pretty excited about next week's ep with Rose, Martha, Jack, and the Torchwood crew in attendance (at least, I think I saw Gwen in the preview).

That's it. Boring ol' me. ::grin::

Because -- as my pal said -- all the COOL kids are doing it

Your result for The Attachment Style Test...

The Free Agent

You like to be independent, to play by your own rules. You're not terribly interested in finding a partner and settling down, and it makes you nervous to imagine that someone might depend on you for anything. Were you to find the right partner--someone as independent as you, probably--you'd not be too put out about sharing your adventures with him/her.

Fictional characters with whom you might identify: Han Solo (Star Wars), Beatrice ("Much Ado About Nothing")

Other Attachment Types:
Secure:	The Unicorn	|	The Cuddleslut	|	The Free Agent
Preoccupied:	The Cling Wrap	|	The Squid	|	The Insect
Fearful:	The Doormat	|	The Leper	|	The Exile
Dismissing:	The Hermit	|	The Stone	|	The Player
Confused:	The Waffler

Take The Attachment Style Test at HelloQuizzy

Suppose there's a reason I love those characters, eh?

How about a few more? It's MEME MADNESS!!!

Your result for The Classic Dames Test...

Katharine Hepburn

You scored 17% grit, 19% wit, 71% flair, and 10% class!

You are the fabulously quirky and independent woman of character. You go your own way, follow your own drummer, take your own lead. You stand head and shoulders next to your partner, but you are perfectly willing and able to stand alone. Others might be more classically beautiful or conventionally woman-like, but you possess a more fundamental common sense and off-kilter charm, making interesting men fall at your feet. You can pick them up or leave them there as you see fit. You share the screen with the likes of Spencer Tracy and Cary Grant, thinking men who like strong women.

Find out what kind of classic leading man you'd make by taking the
Classic Leading Man Test.

Take The Classic Dames Test at HelloQuizzy

Your result for The Director Who Films Your Life Test...

Quentin Tarantino

Your film will be 49% romantic, 26% comedy, 46% complex plot, and a $ 39 million budget.

Wow! What a life you have led thus far! Action-packed, anti-social with probably dark humor. Quentin hasn't really made many films, but each successive one is a bigger and grander project ... and more violent. Karate CHOP! Your life story will probably star Michael Madsen, Uma Thurman, or some TV or movie star from the 1980s for which your film will be the comeback -- let's say Emilio Estevez. Maybe. Quentin's short directing resume includes Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Jackie Brown, and Kill Bill Vols. 1 & 2.

Take The Director Who Films Your Life Test at HelloQuizzy

Your result for The 4-Variable Buffy Personality Test...

Tara Maclay

45% amorality, 27% passion, 91% spirituality, 64% selflessness

What a woman! (Or man, as it may be...)



Tara is a moral, centered, spiritual and selfless person... rather, I suspect, like you. People like this make those around them love them.



Congratulations! (and stay away from windows, just in case)



If you enjoyed this test, I would love the feedback! Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in the following:



Nerds, Geeks & Dorks



Professional Wrestling



Love & Sexuality




America/Politics




Thanks Again! -- THE 4-VARIABLE BUFFY PERSONALITY TEST

Take The 4-Variable Buffy Personality Test at HelloQuizzy

Your result for The Which Lolcat Are You? Test...

Ceiling Cat

27% Affectionate, 38% Excitable, 44% Hungry

You are a master of stealth. They never see you coming. But you always see them coming. HEY-O!



To see all possible results, checka dis.

Take The Which Lolcat Are You? Test at HelloQuizzy

Your result for The Which X-Man Are You Test...

JEAN GREY!!!

Holy crap! You are:

Has some serious potential as a fighter, but is far too busy playing around and breaking hearts to care. I bet she's a slut, too. Oh, but she's also the Phoenix, and can ruin someone's shit at the drop of a hat. Once she learns to control it, that is.

Take The Which X-Man Are You Test at HelloQuizzy

Your result for The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test...

5 - the Observer

Thanks for taking the test !

you chose BZ - your Enneagram type is FIVE (aka "The Thinker").

"I need to understand the world"

Observers have a need for knowledge and are introverted, curious, analytical,
and insightful.

How to Get Along with Me

• Be independent, not clingy.



• Speak in a straightforward and brief manner.



• I need time alone to process my feelings and thoughts.



• Remember that If I seem aloof, distant, or arrogant, it may be that
  I am feeling uncomfortable.



• Make me feel welcome, but not too intensely, or I might doubt your
  sincerity.



• If I become irritated when I have to repeat things, it may be because
  it was such an effort to get my thoughts out in the first place.



• don't come on like a bulldozer.



• Help me to avoid my pet peeves: big parties, other people's loud music,
  overdone emotions, and intrusions on my privacy.

What I Like About Being a FIVE

• standing back and viewing life objectively



• coming to a thorough understanding; perceiving causes and effects



• my sense of integrity: doing what I think is right and not being influenced by social pressure



• not being caught up in material possessions and status



• being calm in a crisis

What's Hard About Being a FIVE

• being slow to put my knowledge and insights out in the world



• feeling bad when I act defensive or like a know-it-all



• being pressured to be with people when I don't want to be



• watching others with better social skills, but less intelligence or
  technical skill, do better professionally

FIVEs as Children Often

• spend a lot of time alone reading, making collections, and so on



• have a few special friends rather than many



• are very bright and curious and do well in school



• have independent minds and often question their parents and teachers
  



• watch events from a detached point of view, gathering information



• assume a poker face in order not to look afraid



• are sensitive; avoid interpersonal conflict



• feel intruded upon and controlled and/or ignored and neglected

FIVEs as Parents

• are often kind, perceptive, and devoted



• are sometimes authoritarian and demanding



• may expect more intellectual achievement than is developmentally appropriate
  



• may be intolerant of their children expressing strong emotions

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele

The Enneagram Made Easy

Discover the 9 Types of People

Harper
SanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages

You liked the test?

so S P R E A D I T ! tell everyone!!!
(use Quick-Paste below)

you wanna know MORE?

so check out, what Wikipedia says about your type...



...even more you'll find in Google

or do you prefer to

---

You are not completely happy with the result?!

You chose BZ

Would you rather have chosen:

AZ (THREE)

CZ (ONE)

BX (NINE)

BY (FOUR)

Dreaming and Memorials

I had the strangest dream of buying jewelry this morning. I was looking at seahorse earrings carved entirely of amber and getting irritated that they were so expensive. There were some bronze ones that were cheaper, but I didn't want them because I knew they'd tangle in my hair. There were turtle/tortoise rings also made of bronze that I was considering. Late in the dream, I went to slip a silver band of leaves on my left ring finger, and I saw an elephant head carved from bone already there. The ends of its ears were broken off, and that made me sad.

I'm probably getting a stylized turtle tattoo this afternoon as a memorial for my sister. I found this one online and knew it was perfect:



On mine, the shell knot will be yellow while the leg bands, eyes, and tail will be orange -- Stacy's favorite colors. The toenails of each foot will be different colors (one color for each foot) -- red, yellow, black, and white -- for the Lakota medicine wheel. In the months before her death, Stacy was becoming more and more interested in our Scottish/Celtic and Lakota heritages, and turtle was her primary totem. I almost have this feeling my sister is trying to bind turtle to me.

I'm also going to get a line or two of one of Paul's poems for his memorial. I don't think I'll get it today, but definitely before I go back to NO. This is the poem I've chosen -- it's one I've carried with me for a long time:

Words Never Spoken

Love never sought can never be found,
Through the storm raging beyond and within.
Quiet yourself and wonder how
My words remain with you long after
The sound has fled away. When all is still
Except your thundering soul; Look beyond
The fears your mind contrives to send
Your heart to distract: Listen to my words
Never spoken, but silently heard to
Engage your heart in this glorious meaning
To this life, often meaningless.